Dying to Meet You by Michael Cox

Author:Michael Cox
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: A&C Black
Published: 2008-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

Tamara Never Comes

‘TAMARA! WE’RE BACK!’ yelled Chad. ‘COME AND SAY HI TO THE KIDS!’

But there was still no reply.

Hailey and Hugo exchanged worried glances.

‘Do you think she’s… she’s… OK?’ said Hailey.

‘Of course she is,’ laughed Chad, with a brief shrug. ‘This place of mine is so huge, she could be anywhere. In the home cinema! Ice skating! At the fun fair riding the ferret wheel…’

‘Don’t you mean ferris wheel?’ said Hailey.

‘No,’ said Chad. ‘It’s a ferret wheel. You know, just like a hamster wheel, except it’s powered by hundreds of scampering ferrets.

‘Now, where was I? Yes, Tamara! She could also be in my huge kitchen busily rustling us up a huge beef casserole for dinner. Or maybe she’s decided to curry the polo ponies instead.’

At this, Hailey went weak at the knees. The twins had heard that Chad had a few odd tastes and habits. After all, he was an author. But the thought of having to eat polo-pony tikka-masala was asking too much, even of them.

‘Chad, do you really think it’s right to turn horses into exotic, far-eastern dishes liberally seasoned with herbs and spices?’ she said, as politely as she could.

‘Ha ha ha!’ laughed Chad. ‘No, no, no! I didn’t mean curry the ponies as in cook them. I meant that perhaps Tamara’s gone to groom them. You know… with a curry comb.’

‘Oh, I get you!’ said Hailey. Then she looked thoughtful and added, ‘But even so, Tamara still seems to be taking her time. I thought she’d be keen to make sure me and Hugo are OK.’

‘Well, you know what they say,’ quipped Chad. ‘Tamara never comes! Ha ha ha!’

Which Hailey thought was in rather bad taste, but Hugo laughed loudly, as he still had his fists stuck in his ears and sensed that laughter was required.

Then Chad said, ‘Tell you what, kids! While we’re waiting for Tamara to turn up, I’ll give you a guided tour of the Chad Pad. But first, let’s get Hugo’s fists out of his ears.’

And, just as Chad had predicted, the warm olive oil worked a treat – Hugo’s fists came out of his ears with a resounding pop!

‘THANKS, MR PIRANHA! THAT’S LOADS BETTER!’ yelled Hugo.

Chad took the twins from room to room, proudly showing them his eight bathrooms, each with its own jacuzzi and walk-in toilet, his fifteen bedrooms, his indoor swimming pool, his private art gallery and library, and lots, lots more. It took over an hour, as he proudly showed them every room in his huge house, all except his massive walk-in freezer, which Chad said wasn’t very interesting.

‘But you’re welcome to go there, if you ever feel like “chilling out”,’ he joked.

Of course, there was one room the twins wanted to see most…

‘Chad, show us where you write your brilliant books!’ they cried excitedly.

‘My pleasure!’ said Chad.

Chad’s Scribblarium, as he liked to call it, was packed with hi-tech gadgets of every kind and it wasn’t long before he was posing next to his paper shredder, pretending

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